My Hopes for You:

As I feel you move and kick around in there, I grow more and more curious as to what you're sweet face looks like and what it will feel like when I meet you for the first time. Based on your 18 week ultrasound profile I feel like you have your daddy's nose and my lips! Your dad and I both hope you get my green eyes but I will love your brown eyes too. You seem to have some long legs which you got from me! Your great grandpa was very tall, so your second cousins and I all seemed to inherit that, and now so did you. I can't wait to see you in a few weeks at your next 3D ultrasound. From what I've seen, we should be able to really get a good idea of what that little mug of yours will look like at birth!

I know we won't meet for a while longer, but I feel like I'm learning a little about your personality! Your daddy and I are both very stubborn and if I had to guess I would say that you will be too. There have been so many times you have been kicking and moving all over the place, but you stop once I try and record a video to send your dad! I know there is no way for you to really know, but it just makes me laugh imagining you being difficult. I probably won't be laughing too much at 3 AM with strong willed baby but that's okay! I think you will be funny, not in a loud obnoxious way, but in a witty way. I know you will bring so much light and laughter to our lives!

My hope for you is that you are smart like your daddy. He is so smart! I especially hope you get your math and science smarts from him, otherwise if you're like me you'll have to get lucky & get a teacher that likes you enough to pass you out of sympathy! Don't be fooled, I am better at writing,language, grammar, and spelling than your dad is so you could have that going for you! Maybe you'll get the best of both of us...fingers crossed! 

I think you have good taste in music. You always seem to kick around during a really good acoustic version of a John Mayer or DMB song. You may already know this, but I was not blessed with the gift of singing. Unfortunately your dad isn't much better, especially when it comes to knowing the words. We still like listening to all sorts of music though so I'm sure you'll get your fill of different genres as you're growing up. 

Style wise, I think you're in the clear. I hope you grow up to have more of my sense of style, but if you end up preppy like your dad that's okay too. I can't wait to have a shopping partner! Your little wardrobe is being collected as we speak & I know you will get so much more from our family and friends. 

Whoever you are, I know that we will love you beyond measure! I already love you so much and my love grows for you with each passing day. You have been a great little sidekick during this deployment & I am so grateful for you in every way. I think you will be a beautiful, funny, and smart little girl and the perfect addition to our lives! 

23 Week Survey

How Far Along: 23 weeks which according to BabyCenter.com:

"Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about the size of a large mango), you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb."

She is kicking around to John Mayer (her favorite) and DMB right now!

How I'm Feeling: I'm really enjoying this phase of my pregnancy! I feel great physically and I look pregnant but haven't reached uncomfortable whale status. It's so fun being able to feel her move around in there, and I'm usually able to tell when she's sleeping and when she's awake. Emotionally, I think my hormones are starting to make me feel a little "off" sometimes but I think it has a lot to do with Dylan being gone. Usually when I feel sad, Layla will kick around and remind me that life is good and we are blessed beyond belief. 

Weight Gain/Loss: I had gained around 3 pounds from my 18 week to my 22 week appointment. The midwife suggested that I just try and eat more often, even if I'm not hungry. I'm still only up 3-4 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and should be gaining around 1 pound/week from this point on. (Baby girl is gaining 6oz/week now!).I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself! 

Cravings: I'm still liking spicy foods and sweets. I feel like I have to have at least one sweet thing per day! My sweet stash is running dangerously low..a trip to the store may be in order!

Gender: Girl. I can't wait to meet her & watch her wrap Dylan around her finger. 

What I Miss: Sleeping comfortably, but I might as well shut up about it since I still have a ways to go! My sweet friend Kelley gave me a gift certificate for a prenatal massage & manicure pedicure @ Natural Body. I am saving the massage for when my hips are REALLY killing me (which probably won't be too far off from now). I woke up early today because of sore hips and stretching pain under my boobs. Minimal complaints for what has been such an easy and healthy pregnancy so far!

What I'm Looking Forward To: I am so anxious for her 3D ultrasound! It feels so far off from now. I'm so curious to see if I can tell whether she looks like Dylan or myself. 

Weekly Wisdom: Ok, my hope in maternity clothes may be restored. Thanks to Pinterest I was lead to ASOS . They offer free shipping on maternity (and non-maternity) clothes that I would actually wear! I think I may have even found a dress for my baby shower. Prices vary, but I have found some really affordable pieces that I plan on ordering soon. (Like, a tunic top for $17!)

Moby Wrap vs. Baby K'Tan Carrier

 So today I braved a grand opening of a new baby/kid consignment store & scored a Moby Wrap as well as a Baby K'Tan carrier. I've read a lot of great reviews on both and was able to buy both at a steal. ($16 a piece, both retail for around 50 bucks each!)

I'll preface this by saying that I personally would only buy certain items used, especially for an infant. I know myself, and since Layla will be my first born, I am going to be a nutty first time mom and stay super weird about dirty things touching her skin. (Especially in the beginning!)

Both of these wraps are machine washable and I will be washing them (probably more than once) before she is here. They came very nicely packaged, and the Moby was still in box with instructional manual, etc.

Moby wrap

With that being said, I wanted to give my opinion on both wraps/carriers.
*If you haven't noticed, I'm using a spaghetti squash as my baby model. I'm sure a real baby would be a lot better but hey, I don't have one just yet so squash baby it is.


Moby Wrap: mobywrap.com

I read a lot of moms raving about the Moby so I decided to give it a shot. I was surprised when I pulled it out of the box that it is literally one, gigantic, long piece of fabric. My initial reaction was, Oh Shit. I thought for sure that it would be super complicated and annoying to figure out. I watched one YouTube video and figured out the basic Newborn Hug position fairly easily (see Squash baby in the picture). I feel like I will keep practicing, but that position will be the first and most important one to master. Granted, Squashy doesn't weigh a lot but the wrap was really comfortable to wear! I wore a Baby Bjorn a lot when I was a nanny and I really found it uncomfortable and probably not too comfortable for the baby either. I feel like a baby would feel really secure and comfortable in the Moby. Plus, everything I've read said it's great to wear while you nurse which I can see how that's true. Another positive is that it is one size fits all, so Dylan and any relative can wear it without having to adjust straps, etc. My only negative that I can say at this point is that it is a lot of extra fabric. I have to wrap it around my body a few times which isn't a huge deal, but I can see why some women say it gets really HOT especially in the warmer months. Also, when trying to get it on the ends of the fabric drag the ground for a second. To most people this would seem irrelevant but for me, having 3 fur babies means whatever touches the ground is bound to pick up some dog hair.


Ok, next up...


Baby K'Tan Carrier: babyktan.com

Baby K'Tan Carrier

This is the carrier I originally had on my registry. I had registered for black but for 16 bucks, I'll take eggplant. Dylan says he doesn't care what color it is, and knowing him he will probably wear it no problem. The K'Tan comes in two pieces, the loops that go over your shoulders and then what they call the "seatbelt", the thick band that goes around the front and ties around your back. As far as putting the carrier on, it's a little easier than the Moby just because you aren't lost in a sea of fabric. You put the loops around your head, slip your arms through each one, and you're basically ready to put baby in. The "seatbelt" isn't always necessary but it adds support. You can wear the K'tan several ways as well, but for today I just tried to get the hang of the Kangaroo (for newborns) and the Hug positions. My main plus for the K'Tan is that it is so much less fabric wrapped all around my body! It seems like it would be easier to put on if I were out in public and not able to have the Moby fabric dragging all along the parking lot, etc. A con for the K'Tan is that I think it may be just a smidge harder to adjust..it seems like the material gets a little twisted around in the back but nothing really annoying. And who knows, I may be doing something wrong. It will take some practice to get a good grasp on both.

Overall, I think both are great. I would suggest either trying out a friend's or finding one or two for a steal so that you can see what you think is best for you. I can see where some people would hate these types of carriers and want something you can just buckle on. It depends on what you want their primary use to be; if you plan on doing a lot of baby wearing or if you would only use a carrier if you were out and about.

I like these because you can nurse hands free either sitting down or if you wanted to try and, I don't know, feed yourself? They are both really comfortable as well. I forgot I was wearing them at one point and then realized I was walking around with a freaking spaghetti squash strapped to my chest. Don't mind me, just a crazy pregnant lady over here.

I'm going to hold on to both and see what I end up liking the best once an actual baby is here. No offense Squash child. Who knows, I may switch back and forth as she grows.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 

-Hebrews 11:1

I feel like I have been busy and not busy all at the same time lately. Life has settled into it's "new normal" and for that I am grateful. Some days my normal is running around nonstop while other days are spent laying on the couch feeling & watching our little girl practice her karate kicks and punches in my tummy. I have to admit, sometimes those days at home are my favorite. 

My hormones are causing my emotions to be all over the map. I burst into tears yesterday reading a strangers birth story on her blog. I like to read out loud whenever I can so that Layla can hear my voice and literally, I felt like the biggest idiot for having to stop every other line to hold back tears. I think the kicker was seeing all of the photos of her husband with their new baby after the birth. Dylan and I have talked and both pray that he is able to be here for Layla's birthday but we both know that it's out of our hands. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I know that God has a plan for us & that our path is already determined. Of course I want Dylan here for support and to share in such a special time in both of our lives, but I really want him to have that moment for himself. I want us to both remember what it feels like to meet our daughter for the first time, I don't want him to have to imagine what it must have felt like. 

However it ends up, all will be fine. 

I'm just living on faith.  Sometimes I still feel like I need to pinch myself. I am so blessed to be pregnant and then to take into consideration how easy my pregnancy has been so far is overwhelming to me. I always imagined this time in my life but can't believe I'm actually living it right now. I am trying to soak in every new experience and step along the way. 

Today I had my first appointment with my new OBGYN practice. I was referred by a family friend and was excited that they have a lot of midwives on staff in addition to their OBs. I felt a little nervous before hand as I knew it was a bigger practice than my previous doctor's office and I had made the mistake of reading some negative reviews online. (Side note: I think reviews are helpful but I think most of the time the only people who take the time to write a review are people who are a bit scorned.)

One review said the particular midwife I was seeing today had broken her water without her knowledge or consent (Granted, she had been in labor for a long time). Great. I pictured a pushy, know-it-all midwife and felt really apprehensive as I went to the appointment. 

At my appointment, I could not have imagined a nicer midwife! She was seriously a dream come true. She is pregnant with twins and our due dates are two days apart so unfortunately I know she will not be the one on call when it comes to my delivery, but I was pleasantly surprised at how relaxed she made me feel. Like, maybe if we weren't both pregnant we could go grab a glass of wine together. The practice encourages that I meet all of the midwives by having appointments with all of them, as it just depends who is on call when I go into labor. I'm hoping I like the other's as much as I liked Christine from today. 

I have gained approximately 3 pounds since my 18 week appoint which I am happy about. My total weight gain is around 4 pounds, which Christine did not seem worried about. She did say to just try and eat more..even if I am not hungry. Gaining weight seems like an easy problem to solve, but it's tricky when you want to continue to eat healthy and not just high calorie junk. I want to gain healthy weight that will support baby and myself, and gaining unhealthy weight will only make for a harder delivery and raise my risk for gestational diabetes. A part of me believes my body will hold on to what it needs to, so I am not going to become obsessive with my eating. I feel that as long as I am eating healthy and consistently throughout the day I should be fine!

My next appointment is 4 weeks from today. I will get all of my registration and pre-admission paperwork for the hospital at that visit. I guess that means that this baby will actually really be here eventually!

I told my mom and friends that I feel like February will never come, let alone the day she is born. It's like her birth is this imaginary event that I will only wonder about and talk about..forever. Then she kicks, punches me, demands Trader Joe's Dunkers and reminds me that she is growing like a weed in there and will be here before we know it! My heart literally swells when I imagine the day I (and hopefully Dylan) get to see her sweet face for the very first time. 

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. 

(Exodus 14:14)

Well, this lady is officially TWENTY SIX! I plan on updating soon, but for now birthday weekend has worn me out. 

21 Week Survey

How Far Along: 21 weeks


How I'm Feeling: I feel like baby girl is going through a serious growth spurt! I have started to feel more round ligament pain. She hasn't been as active this week so I'm wondering if she's sleeping more to grow, grow, grow. She also has a new hobby of using my cervix as a trampoline/punching bag. I love feeling her kick, but I have to admit I prefer when she's facing outward rather than facing down & seemingly planning her escape.  I've noticed it's getting harder to comfortably shift sides during the night and to get out of bed.

Weight Gain/Loss: Like I said, I don't weigh at home but I am very eager for my doctor appointment next week. My "weekly update" email said "most" women have gained around 10-15 pounds by this point, and I am very far behind that. So far I'm up 3 to 4 pounds. I know she is growing & I eat ALL day (while keeping it healthy) so I am trying not to worry!

Cravings: I've been wanting veggies this week, lots of kale and squash! Still craving something sweet once a day but the cookies are gone...nooooooo....

Gender: Girl. Shopping for her nursery is underway and I am so excited to be having a girl! POM POMs have been ordered via Etsy...I know Dylan is super excited about that. 

What I Miss: Dylan, but I could say that every week. Sleeping comfortably. 

What I'm Looking Forward To: My 26th birthday is this weekend! It's crazy to think next year's birthday will be celebrated with our Layla here! I'm also looking forward to my doctor's appointment next week, although I don't think anything too exciting is happening while we are there. I decided to schedule another 3D ultrasound for about a month from now. I want to see her sweet face!

Weekly Wisdom: I would say, start your registry early. We started ours really early and I am still editing/adding/deleting items so that it's exactly right when it's time for family & friends to check it out. Registering is overwhelming as a first time parent because I have no idea what I really need, what people say you need but may not, what I don't, and how much of everything to register for. Like, how many stroller toys does she really need? Pacifiers? What if she hates the pacifiers I have, do I register for some of every brand? Then for clothes, what if she comes early and is tiny? Or what if she's bigger and can't wear any of the Newborn pieces? See what I mean...

"You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day. Lose myself in time, just thinking of your face..."

HALFWAY THERE!

How Far Along: 20 weeks - halfway to meeting our little Layla.

How I'm Feeling: I feel great. I've started walking once, sometimes twice a day and it makes me feel good to know I'm supporting my body and baby by staying active! Sleeping is starting to cause my hips to hurt & recently I've noticed I'm waking up with achy muscles right under my boobs...not sure if it's my abdominals stretching or my boobs getting heavier..maybe a combination. I'm trying to sleep laying down as long as possible but I see sleeping propped up in my near future, blah!

Weight Gain/Loss: I haven't been weighing, I just wait to weigh at my doctor appointments. I feel like adding in my new walking routine has probably caused my weight to maintain, but I do up my caloric intake to make up for what I burn off! Hello Trader Joes Chocolate Chip Dunkers..

Cravings: I housed some Panang curry this past weekend. I still love spicy food! I guess I already mentioned the chocolate chip cookies, no shame in this momma's game! I love TJ's sparkling water, and so does Layla..she goes crazy from the bubbles!

Gender: Girl. A very, very ACTIVE baby girl!

What I Miss: My husband...really hating that he is missing out on any of this special time! I also miss sleeping on my back, the side sleeping is causing the fore mentioned hip & boob muscle pain. May be time to seek out a new pregnancy pillow because the Boppy isn't cutting it! 

What I'm Looking Forward To: To start DIY projects for some of the nursery decor! I'm also ready to raid some flea markets.

Weekly Wisdom: I'm not really sure I have any wisdom this week. Oh, only that maternity clothes shopping is really frustrating & I am officially checking maternity clothing stores off my list. At least until I'm huge and have no choice in the matter. What is it with all the STRIPES?! Is it an unspoken rule that once you're pregnant you have to wear big, ugly horizontal stripes? And what are maternity cardigans? Other than being 2x the price? I don't see why I need a special open-front cardi that my belly will stick out of, maternity or not. Ok, rant over..see, no wisdom here. Only pregnancy hormones.

19 Week Survey

Ok, so I kind of fell off track with the whole survey deal! So here we go..

How Far Along: 19 weeks -- almost half way there!

How I'm Feeling: I feel amazing. Oh, and hungry.

Weight Gain/Loss: I gained 5 pounds from my 12 week appointment to my 18 week appointment. I'm 2+ pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight but growing, growing!

Cravings: Spicy food! Especially spicy spaghetti sauce, yum! Starting to crave sweets but trying to be careful in not overdoing the sugar!

Gender: We are 100% having a sweet baby girl!

What I Miss: With all of the stress and sadness of Dylan deploying, I have to say I was missing my VINO!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Continuing to feel & (as of today) watch her kicks! I'm ready to start collecting decor, etc for her nursery.

Weekly Wisdom: God has a plan for you so enjoy this time! Don't compare yourself or your pregnancy to others (I still struggle with this).I used to get really upset when people would say "you're so tiny!" or "you don't even look pregnant!" but our baby girl is actually on the bigger side & is in perfect health. I just learned to accept that she would show when it was her time. (Everyone has their opinion and "expert" advice! Especially family!)Take a billion pictures. Cherish every little kick.

Probably my one and only bare belly picture!