Ok, so lets be real for a minute. With Layla's 1st birthday right around the corner, I've been spending a lot of time on Etsy & Instagram searching for ideas for her party. I've found a few things I'm planning to buy because although she won't remember this party, I still want it to be special. I'll be honest and say that most of the items I'm planning on, I saw on another mommy bloggers post. She threw an amazing 1st birthday for her daughter, probably everything I wish I was crafty enough to do. But lets face it, I'm not. I don't have the time nor the talent to hand craft home made animal cookies, bake a ridiculously perfect birthday cake, and order sickeningly cute party favors. I barely have time to click and order these few decorations as it is, and I'm only buying them because I have an Etsy gift card. Like, $30 for some pom pom garland? I know it's insane. But it's so.damn.cute.
I say all of this because I'm done comparing myself to these people on social media. To be honest, I think it's all bullshit. Being a mom is hard, and it should be enough. I literally feel like I give my whole self to being Layla's mom from the minute I wake up until she falls asleep each night. Not to mention I'm still a wife. I struggle to find time for myself when there is so much that requires my attention. Some days I feel like I'm drowning & that there is literally not enough time in the day to get to myself.
I realized that in the spare time I have (usually during naps) I spend a lot of that time skimming through Instagram, looking at all of these other moms/shop owners/bloggers who I feel like just outdo me in every sense. Their kids are perfectly dressed in clothes I wish I could but can't afford, their homes are cute as shit, they seem way more creative than I could ever be. But, so what? Are their kids any happier than mine? Do their kids give a shit whether or not their breakfast was Pinterest worthy fruit faces? If their house is anything like mine, half of their breakfast was fed to the dog or thrown on the floor.
I remember reading an article that said, every mom is drowning in motherhood. I believe that to be true, but I am quick to forget. Maybe it's all an illusion, I mean most of what is on social media is. No one showcases the not so fun parts of being a mom. I see pictures posted of babies who "partied all night long". Cute, but what I think they really mean to say is, my baby cried all night & so did I. But, thats not going to get likes. It should, because it's real & relatable and lets us know we aren't alone. Reality isn't always cute & perfect and worthy of an Instagram.
I absolutely love being a mom. I've learned to appreciate the not so fun times because they make me appreciate the good days. I love everything that being a mom has taught me about myself. As challenging as this first year has been, I am so grateful for every day. I've even found myself thinking crazy thoughts about wanting to do it all over again with a second baby. It makes me laugh because I remember the early days with Layla and thinking I will NEVER do this again! How do people do this again?! Now I know why. The good out shadows the bad and the love your child has for you and you for them is the best thing ever.
To the moms who manage to create 200+ pairs of organic baby leggings during their kids naps, kuddos. I give you major props. I am literally in awe of you. To the moms who haven't brushed their teeth today, I'm right there with you. I didn't create Pinterest worthy pancake faces for Layla's breakfast, but I did jam out to Bruno Mars 'Uptown Funk' for the 500th time and watched Layla smile and dance. She was happy, I was happy. And thats enough.
